如果女生主动找我吐露负面情绪,这是否意味着我没吸引到她,她是不是把我定为低价值的男生呢?面对这种情况,我该如何应对?
谢谢你把吸引学上升到哲学。让我对你做个冷读:你像一个很爱思考,很善于理论,逻辑严密的人。像你这样的学者型的人,有很多优势,你很会学习,很会思考问题。但也会有一个缺点:容易陷在自己的思考里,而忽略了实践和实际反馈。
女生找你主动吐露负面情绪这事本身不能说是她把你看成是低价值的男生。如果这个女生平时从来不主动找你,每次主动找你,她要么是有实际的需求需要你的帮忙,要么就是想找人诉苦,那么,这就很有可能她把你看成她的卫星男或者男闺蜜。
女生找你吐露负面情绰,也有可能是因为她感知到你能接受,甚至感受到你们之间有一点喜欢,所以她在你的面前可以放下伪装,可以发发嗲,可以寻求安慰等等。
当然,对我们男生的最容易最轻松的吸引,是一开始把自己的社交价值拉得很高,这样女生可能看到就想尽办法来讨好您,所以,她就不太容易对您吐露真实心声,也不会表达负面情绪,因为她更在乎您怎么看她。这种情况下,您作为男人去吸引这个女孩是不费吹灰之力的。你只要适时给予认可,让对方知道他们可以追求您,就可以了。
但如果这个女孩已经开始对您吐露负面情绪,好处是在你们比较熟悉了,girl信任的是比较多。但对于您的坏处是在,您需要花更多的心思来和他们建立吸引,拉高您的社交价值。比如,当girl抱怨:“今天上班好累啊。” 你可以回答类似:“来,把肩膀给我揉一下,让you累过头,就不会再感觉累了。”然后加上坏笑。明白吗?而不是老老实实说:“哦,那you要不要休息休息。”
注意,如果girl抱怨的是另一个男人的事情,而且是她们之间的暧昧关系的话,那么,这种情况,您应当立刻转换话题,而决不要充当her和另一个男生的情感顾问。
编辑推荐,对you好,不意味着just want to marry you讲述:
29岁,我与30岁的boyfriend相恋一年,我们俩都住在一起。我带他回家见了父母,但至今他还没带me见他父母。他父母都知道我的存在。我家人催婚,我跟他提过好几次见他的父母的事,他每次都同意,可是一直拖延到今天还未履行承诺。今晚又谈此事,他说下周末一定see me,I say tomorrow see him, he disagree,saying I am pressuring him.
He divorced before and might be afraid of marriage. He once said we would get married in May, then August, and recently said January next year. Each time he has a reason to delay, I try to understand but also realize they are all excuses. We live together almost a year now; he is very good to me; his leadership and colleagues are also very good. He is not the kind of unreliable person. But my family thinks he doesn't want to marry me because every time I bring up this topic, it ends with nothing happening.
I used to think that love should be pure and simple without any complicated feelings or expectations from both parties. That's why when my boyfriend suggested we move in together after two years of dating, I agreed without hesitation.
But as time went by, our relationship became more complex than ever before. It was as if we were living in different worlds yet sharing the same space at home. The distance between us grew wider with each passing day until one day when everything came crashing down on us like an avalanche.
The incident made me realize that love can be quite complicated especially when there are too many expectations from both parties involved in a relationship
It seems that no matter how much effort you put into your relationships or how hard you try to make them work out perfectly for everyone involved sometimes things just don't go according to plan.
Confidence: 90%